LOVE LIKE THAT AGAIN

Don’t you yearn for, want to, need to, have to, be seen, be heard, 
love, and be loved like that again - 
in the moonlight, 
campfire light, 
sunshine, 
candle light, 
day light, 
night light, 
from the mountain top, 
fields and pastures, 
forest and meadows, 
sea shore, 
garden and orchard, 
above the roar of waves, 
the thunder and lightning, 
across the seas, 
and over the noise of the crowd. 
I found love there, everywhere, in many splendid forms, wrapped in joy and wonder. 
I want to Love like that again. 

I know. You know too. What I'm talking about. 

How we fell into each other's arms as the crowd rushed around us. Our eyes met and forty years of separation fell to the floor, vanished, vanquished history, gave way to new beginnings, never ending. No longer two hearts adrift on an endless sea, lost, never again. Now Found. Our heart, one heart, destiny, in eternity. She waits for me there. 

Before they bring the curtain down I need to know Love like that again. 

There were days and months on the open roads. 
A backpack, a few dollars in my pocket, freedom was for the taking and at my beckoned call. A bus ride, a hitch-hiked lift, a train ride were easy to come by and took me where my longing, my searching, needed me to go, and lead me there... 
Working the fields with those that I loved. We rose at dawn, laughed and sang, and sweat our way through the day - tilling the land, nurturing soil, and crops, and livestock too. The harvest took  every ounce of our energy, the chinooks blew cold, reminding us there was precious little time before winter hit. But we did it, we made it happen. The fields laid-by, and the bounty stored. 
And finally, for us, a time to rest. Winter found time to visit with neighbors, drinking some coffee, enjoying sandwiches and cookies and pie together. Our toast to the good life, the simple, sublime way of life on the land that had given such abundant gifts for so many generations. 
The curtain came down on that culture I once knew. My people are gone now, a terrible loss, yet my memories still ring true. We were strong, and free, and asked no permission. From hearts filled with love and grace, we gave our prayers of thanksgiving and offerings to God's Blessings. 
The land is not our land. 
This land is the Creator's. 
We are just visitors here. 
Yet, I wish I could be with my people again, just for the chance to - 
Love like that again. 
 
Everywhere we ventured, her smile, her energy, the lightness in her step and joy in her being was my compass, my guide, as I cherished and savored each moment together . We hiked, we fished and camped all across those Rockies mighty elevations. She held me close every night in our little red cabin, or under the stars and by our campfire's light. Our time together that summer was on a short leash because War and the Navy were soon to take me away. There were too many days that I fretted the parting but she stuck beside me like no other and loved me despite my ever present distress. The sea and the War took me away, and her letters, and our Rocky Mountain memories kept our love alive. It had been over a year that the sea held me sway, until a moment finally came to redeem what we had, but like the fool that I am I left her behind. If I could I would find her and ask her forgiveness, Lord knows I don't deserve it, too little, and decades too late. I shall never forget how she played the piano. She stopped mid way through the music she was playing, to answer my knock on her door. I asked her to finish the tune on her piano, but she would not be convinced and the song, our song was left forever unfinished. 
I can wish all I want but live with the heartache - this was the love I'd let pass me by, and there will never be another chance to receive her Love like that again. 

From the first time we met six years ago I have wanted to know her better. I asked myself many times, who is this woman that works so hard everyday tending to her business, and to her family? She makes it all look so easy, effortless, always with a smile for any one who wanders into her shop. I was intrigued, yet I kept my distance. I was deep into dealing with my own issues, and she was married. A few years later, after we both had lost the loves of our lives, a chance encounter happened. As I walked the sidewalk one day I saw her standing there in front of her shop. As I smiled and reached out, she fell into my arms. Our embrace said it all. More than a fleeting hug no words needed to be said.  Before I knew it we were soon choosing our favorite songs and dancing together in my living room. She admitted, just like she had captured my attention and intrigue years before, how I had caught her eye years earlier, and she too had wanted to know me better. There could be no doubt this was a new beginning for us both. We spent hours, days and weeks sharing about our lives, about our losses, our grief, and how we were trying to keep moving forward in life. And those songs resonated even stronger, moment by moment, the lyrics fitting and expanding our growing attraction to one another. Could this be the something with a future that I needed, we both needed? As her hair fell across my face and and her hand on my shoulder, her voice a mere whisper, she sang to me, and took us both to a place, dare I say, to the stars and beyond ... can you blame me for never wanting it to end. Against the odds, with her soft, sweet songs now entwined in my heart, I dared to ask her for companionship, for taking the chance to build upon what we uncovered - and she replied, 
'Thanks, but no thanks.' and then walked out the door. 
I will never know why and it's a shame, a love like that was not meant to last.  
_________________________

It is said that Love happens for a Reason, a Season, or a Lifetime. 
I have no shame, nor regrets for the Love that came into my life. The decades have gone by and I can now look back and speak as I have to today about the lifetime of Reasons and Seasons. 
If I could add one thing to the Reasons, Seasons, and Lifetimes, it would be this - there is a also Love that lives on in the Infinite. And I know there is one who left this life too soon, and now she waits for me there. 
Yet, I also know in my heart and spirit, that because I am still here, in this human experience, that I won't be judged for wanting to, needing to, have one more chance at a Love like that again. 
If you can relate to this and feel led, please share your Love Like That Again experience in the comments. 
Blessings to all.